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More than anything, though, I felt like a girl. I feltdelicate and soft and curvaceous and fragile and smooth and submissiveand vulnerable and feminine and pretty and completely humiliated.Bewildered by it all, I didn't even notice the door open and a room fullof college guys turn and stare in slack-jawed amazement. It turns outWendy was throwing this year's big back-to-school party, and all theguys were there for the annual freshman girl meat market, only now I wasthe hottest piece of meat on display."Everyone, can I have your attention. This is Amber," Wendy shouted tothe crowd. "She's a friend of mine and she'll be starting school herethis year. She's the reason for this little back-to-school party, it'sto celebrate her birthday, so everyone has to come wish her well. She'sturning 18 tonight, which means she's completely legal boys, so ifyou're lucky you might get to spank her later!" The crowd roared and Istood there stunned. I didn't know where to look so I looked at. Purdue was a little raucous, but we were hosted in sorority houses and, in general, we had good audience interaction, especially when I started doing more skits in the opening that used an audience member to play off of. That was a little stressful. I had material prepared, but I just had to wing it when my improv partner went way off in left field. It was exhausting.And then it was time to pack up the family and go to Florida.Holy shit!ME: What could be better than Fort Lauderdale in March? Two major reasons to come to Florida. Spring break and spring training, Baseball and bikinis. What else do you need?AUDIENCE MEMBER: Beer!ME: Wow! I seldom have guys in my audience. That's probably why. Is that what you're really thinking of? Ladies, let me tell you something. If you're with a guy who is more interested in drinking than in you, then he's probably never actually seen a nipple up close and personal.I'm not a prude. I don't mind a drink occasionally for those who are of age. I've.
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